


Hello, My Happy World

by okapifeathers (giratinas)



Category: BanG Dream! (Anime), BanG Dream! Girl's Band Party! (Video Game)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Denial, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 11:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15533340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/giratinas/pseuds/okapifeathers
Summary: Kokoro wears her heart on both of her sleeves. Misaki doesn’t wear hers at all, but she tries her best.





	Hello, My Happy World

**Author's Note:**

> it's been a long time since i've written anything. it was very hard for me to get back into writing after some major life events last year. bandori is here to save me though, and misaki is a pretty good cure.
> 
> i hope you enjoy it. there will be more.

If there was one thing Kokoro was absolutely terrible at, Misaki thought to herself, it was writing songs. Singing? Dancing? Those went naturally hand in hand with her… enthusiastic personality. Writing, however, demanded attention and focus, along with the ability to reason and form fully functional sentences that made sense to normal human beings. So, who better to write songs for their band than Misaki?

“Kokoro, could you do that last part again, except… uh, a lot slower? And maybe while not moving, please.”

Kokoro giggled and continued skipping around her room, throwing her arms up with renewed enthusiasm. Misaki sighed from her seat on the floor.

“You’ve gotta feel the tune, Misaki! If I stop, it just won’t be the same!”

“It’s not going to be anything if I don’t get a chance to write something down.”

Kokoro giggled and continued on, leaving Misaki in the dust.

This was how it went on most songwriting days spent at Kokoro’s lavish home, an experience that only Misaki had suffered through so far; nobody else really seemed to make an effort to propel the band forward musically. They needed new songs; Kokoro could come up with them in her brain, but couldn’t convey them to anyone in a way they could understand.

Misaki had made the mistake early on of attempting to transcribe Kokoro’s humming, because now it became her job outside of acting as “Michelle’s manager”, which was honestly more than enough work as it was. 

Sometimes, Kokoro would have an idea for a song in the middle of lunch at school, and Misaki would grab a pen and paper and follow her around trying to come up with lyrics on the spot that didn’t scream “we are a band by children, for children.”

At least Kanon was sane, if not a bit of a pushover.

Misaki tuned Kokoro out for a moment and spared a glance at the notebook in her lap. Nothing but crossed-out words and a coffee cup stain from this morning when she’d tried to write something before breakfast. A crude doodle of a music bar and a few odd notes was all she had to show for almost a week of trying.

She looked up again to watch Kokoro, a stark contrast of red stripes and overalls against the extravagant background of her bedroom. Her furniture seemed a bit bland for someone with such boundless energy, but Misaki assumed the luxurious decor was her parents’ choosing. The only thing in the room that alluded to the Tsurumaki child Misaki knew was the familiar pink bear sitting at the head of the four-poster bed.

The voice of her companion faded further into the abyss as Misaki tried once again to focus on the task at hand. She couldn’t even figure out what kind of song it should be, but it had to satisfy her bandmates and that meant she was limited in her options. It had to be happy. Upbeat. Something to make people smile. Misaki felt like she was out of her element every time she tried, but everyone else always seemed to love what she came up with anyway, even if the tune itself did belong to Kokoro. Lyrics were the hardest part, but Kokoro was, at the very least, talented enough to be able to sing anything and make it sound more exciting than it actually was.

“Hey, Misaki!”

“Huh?” Misaki jerked herself out of her thoughts and flinched at the feeling of her hat being lifted off the top of her head.

She shook her head and looked up to find Kokoro making a curious face at her, black and grey hat in hand.

“You’re not writing anything. Is my song not good?”

“No! No, your song is fine, it’s just… difficult to think of something new.” Misaki muttered. “It’s tough to do this by myself.”

Kokoro sat down on top of her low table, placing Misaki’s hat in her lap. “Well you aren’t by yourself, are you?”

Misaki rolled her eyes. “I may as well be…” she muttered.

“Hm?”

“Nothing. I just mean writing the lyrics myself. I’m no professional or anything.”

Kokoro gave her a grin. “That doesn’t matter. As long as it sounds good and makes people smile, the lyrics can be anything!”

“I don’t think they can be  _ anything _ .” Misaki put her pen down and reached for her hat, only to watch Kokoro snatch it again and flip it up onto her own head.

“Maybe you’re having trouble because you’re always so gloomy.”

“Gloomy? I wouldn’t call myself gloomy…” Misaki frowned.

Kokoro blinked at her. “Well, what are you then? You’re not happy, or you wouldn’t have trouble writing the song. You’re too serious.”

Misaki drew in a long breath as she tried her best to remember that Kokoro had good intentions; she was just a bit socially unaware. Sheltered, maybe. She just couldn’t communicate without making Misaki feel a little inadequate about her personality.

“Sometimes you have to be serious. You don’t see Kaoru writing our songs, right?” Misaki tried her best to force a smile – to appear at least a tiny bit happier. 

Kokoro leaned back and held a finger to her lip, looking up at her ceiling in thought. “Well, I never asked her to try. Maybe she would be good at it?”

Misaki opened her mouth, ready to protest, but Kokoro beat her to it and scooted towards the very edge of table with excitement in her eyes. “But I want  _ you _ to do it! It just wouldn’t be the same!”

Misaki closed her mouth, the edges rolling into the smallest hint of a grin. Something about the stars in Kokoro’s eyes made her glad she was the one doing the writing, even though moments ago she was struggling to do that very thing. Maybe she was going soft, but  _ something _ about Kokoro gave her the determination to keep trying.

Or quit. One of the two.

“See, there! A real smile, that’s what you needed.”

Misaki quickly pressed her lips together and slouched further back as Kokoro slid off the table and nearly into her lap.

“Kokoro!”

“Misaki! Where’d it go? What made you smile? Just think about it some more and it’ll come to you in no time!”

Misaki shook her head and looked off into the corner. “I wasn’t thinking about anything. I guess I’m just happy you want me to do the important part.”

A finger pressed into her cheek and warmth crept up her neck.

“Your smiles are just stubborn, like you, Misaki.”

Misaki turned back to Kokoro and raised her hands in defeat. “Alright alright, we’ll try again. I promise I’ll try to smile more, okay?”

Kokoro nodded in determination. “Only do it if you’re really happy, or else you just look real uncomfortable.”

“Okay, I get it!” Misaki yelled, halfway to a laugh. Kokoro wasn’t wrong; she knew it looked a little odd whenever she forced a smile. One of the perks of hiding inside Michelle on stage was not having to smile at anyone, after all. She didn’t have that privilege under the watchful eyes of Kokoro Tsurumaki.

There was a tickling sensation across her legs as Kokoro leaned even further forward until she was well within Misaki’s personal space. She was close enough that Misaki could feel her breath across her cheeks. Long, golden hair swished back and forth along Misaki’s lap.

“Don’t worry so much, alright?”

Misaki had some kind of sarcastic quip in the back of her mind, but she suddenly had trouble saying anything at all. Bright yellow eyes and a grin from ear to ear was all she could process, and  _ man _ , Kokoro was awfully close – like  _ so _ close, and – 

And then Kokoro was backing away as fast as she’d closed in. Ignoring her first thought –  _ Kokoro could stand to come a bit closer, right? Close is good now? Close is...nice? _ – she instead raised a hand to her hat, which was still atop Kokoro’s head. She closed her fingers around the brim and nudged it a little bit to the left.

“I wear it like that,” Misaki said, oddly short of breath. “A little to the side.”

“Oh, thanks!” Kokoro hadn’t stopped smiling since she sat down, but if it was possible, her grin was even wider now. “Hats are pretty comfy. I should wear them more.”

And then she was up again, skipping to the other end of her room and leaving Misaki in a daze. “Let’s try again. I still remember the song I came up with.”

Misaki shook her head, her spatial awareness swiftly returning. Nothing out of the ordinary.

“Okay, let’s do it.”

Kokoro hummed away to her heart’s content, and Misaki’s pen hit the paper with a fresh start.

  
  


* * *

  
Misaki took a seat at her DJ deck, sighing in frustration. Everyone would show up prepared to play like they did every week, and once more they would only practice their old songs and covers. Not that more practice ever hurt anyone, but it was still bothersome to have come up with exactly nothing despite her efforts.

Of course, Kokoro wouldn’t be disappointed; nothing could disappoint her. She would just brush it aside and tell everyone they would come up with something for next week, or the week after, for as long as it took. But  _ still _ .

The door swung open and said girl skipped into the studio as Misaki silently cursed the fact that nobody else had shown up yet. Would it really kill everyone else to be punctual for once? 

“Hey Misaki! How’d the song writing go?”

Misaki’s eye twitched and her forehead met her deck. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”

There was a thunk as Kokoro flung her bag into a corner, and an unbearable scraping noise as she dragged a chair over to join Misaki in her misery.

“Why don’t we take today off then? It’s nice outside anyway; we could go to the park or go window shopping or go see a movie or –”

Misaki reluctantly lifted her head. “We don’t have time for all that stuff, Kokoro. Everyone else is gonna show up anyway. We can’t just leave.

Kokoro’s smile faltered for a fleeting moment. “Hmm, I guess you’re right. But we haven’t even started yet and you’re already disappointed.”

“Sometimes I’m disappointed before I even get here; that’s just how it is. Maybe you should ask Kaoru to write it after all.”

Kokoro’s hands slapped her knees. “You can’t just give up like that. You already spent so long working on it, and that’s your job, remember? Maybe if you did something fun, you wouldn’t feel so bad about practice.”

Misaki hummed and leaned back in her chair, carefully avoiding looking into Kokoro’s eyes. “I don’t have much time for fun stuff. I have to fight four other bands for studio space every week over the phone, I have to write songs which requires us both to be free at the same time, I have to look after my sister when my dad is out late, and on top of that I still have homework and my actual part-time job.”

“And you book all our venues, and you’ve got to manage Michelle…” Kokoro took over the list, counting along on her fingers thoughtfully. “You really do a lot for us. That’s what makes you so amazing, you know?”

Misaki laughed awkwardly and shoved a hand behind her head. “I wouldn’t say I’m amazing, but it is a lot for one person I guess.”

“We all work hard, but sometimes you just gotta not work at all or you’ll be grumpy all the time like you usually are. We want to make everyone smile, but if we’re not smiling while we’re doing it then something’s wrong!”

“I’m not –”

“You’re moody! You’re always like ‘hey, we can’t do that’, or ‘no Kokoro, don’t do that thing; don’t listen to Hagumi; don’t listen to Kaoru!’”

Misaki looked down awkwardly. “Uhhh…”

After all, Kokoro wasn’t wrong. She just didn’t  _ get it. _ Someone had to have a levelheaded opinion, and Kanon gave in to pressure too easily. It had to be Misaki.

“Sometimes you just gotta say ‘we  _ can _ do that’. We can do anything if we try hard enough, right?”

_ Or if you have enough money _ . Misaki bit her lip.

It wasn’t fair to assume something so shallow of Kokoro, but it really was true. She could probably snap her fingers and her ultra-weird bodyguard people would come up with a smash hit within the day. Sometimes, she didn’t even need to snap.

But also, they  _ had _ done everything they set out to do by trying. Sure, it put a lot of strain on Misaki’s relationships with people in general to get everything done, but it usually worked out in the end. Drinking coffee to make up for her lack of sleep wasn’t ideal, but it got her through rough schedules and it probably counted as trying, for lack of a better word. Accepting defeat, maybe?

No, she was definitely trying. The only thing she’d failed to do so far was quit.

“You’re right.” Misaki sat up. “I’m just stressed, is all.”

Kokoro flashed her a glowing smile. “Just don’t worry about it anymore and you’ll be fine. No stress!”

Misaki found herself quickly hitting her eye-roll quota for the day, but her lips twitched upwards anyway. “Is that how you deal with it?”

“Yep! I just think about how much fun it is to sing with everyone and all my worries go away. The best cure for a frown is Michelle though, she knows what Hello Happy is all about.” Kokoro said cheerfully.

Michelle. Of course.

“Well, I’m glad we have someone so reliable to keep you in a good mood.” Misaki’s voice cracked a little. Every now and then Kokoro made a good point in a roundabout way, but it never took long for her… naivety to show.

“Now we just need someone to keep  _ you _ in a good mood.”

“Very funny, Kokoro.” Misaki glanced up at the clock. “Practice started nearly twenty minutes ago. Where is everyone?”

Kokoro kicked back in her chair and rested her feet on the edge of the deck. Misaki considered tipping her over.

“I dunno.” Kokoro began tapping on the deck with her foot. “Maybe they all have other stuff to do today.”

“They would have said something if they were busy though, wouldn’t they? Kanon would have sent me a text.” Misaki pulled her phone out of her pocket and sent her own text to Kanon instead, while Kokoro made no effort to contact any of their other bandmates.

Kokoro gripped the edges of her chair. “Maybe it’s a sign that we really should go do something else. We could go see the new Digimon!”

“But what if they show up while we’re gone?” Misaki found herself muttering, more to herself than in reply to Kokoro. She wasn’t seriously entertaining the idea of skipping practice, but that’s what came out of her mouth anyway.

Kokoro pushed her feet off the deck, the front legs of her chair hitting the floor. “It’ll be fine, Misaki. We’ll just meet again next week anyway; it’s not so bad to skip one time. Maybe a movie will help you think of lyrics?” 

Misaki looked up and made unwanted eye contact with Kokoro. Every time she got a glimpse of glittery yellow, she felt pressured to give in against her better judgement. If nobody planned on showing up, then both herself and Kokoro were free to work on lyrics without having to leave anyway. If they stuck around, maybe their three missing persons would turn up eventually.

“We should probably just stay here and pick up where we left off the other day.”

Kokoro blinked rapidly and her pupils darted to the side for a quick second. “Okay! We can do that. That’s fine too.”

“Come on, it’s comfier on the floor than it is hunched over this stupid thing.” Misaki gestured for Kokoro to get up, catching a glimpse of what she assumed was disappointment in her eyes. But Kokoro didn’t get disappointed, so it was likely something else. She probably just didn’t feel like doing any real work today.

It didn’t stop Misaki from feeling a little bad about it anyway.

“Hey, you’re the one who told me you could do anything with me and be happy, as long as we’re together. We just have to get this done.”

Kokoro shook her head, as if snapping out of her own thoughts. “You’re right, I’m sure we’ll have a ton of fun here anyway. Maybe Michelle will come help us!”

Misaki let herself grin at that. “Maybe.”

She moved to readjust her hat, but paused as she watched Kokoro slump to the floor a little heavier than usual. As Misaki sat down across from her, she reached over and put her hat back down on Kokoro’s head.

To say Kokoro was glowing would be an understatement, and she leaned forward with renewed vigor. 

“Alright!” She all but shouted. “Let’s write a song!”

Misaki whipped her pen out and prepared for a long,  _ long _ two hours. 

Kanon never replied.

 

* * *

  
“Did you seriously forget to bring literally any pens or pencils again? I feel like you do this every single day now.” Misaki grumbled as she handed Kokoro a fresh pencil. It was one of many she’d handed over in the last two weeks, but her happy-go-lucky classmate had managed to misplace every single one of them.

Maybe if she didn’t sit beside Misaki, she could bother someone else for infinite pencil access. 

“Sorry Misaki, I promise I won’t lose it this time. Since I’m here already, do you wanna work on homework with me?” Kokoro gripped the pencil as if she’d just been given an autographed photo of Michelle instead of a writing utensil.

Misaki raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean, ‘since you’re already here’? You sit beside me every day.”

“Wow, I guess you’re right… so do you wanna?”

Misaki liked having her work finished on time, but she also liked putting it off nearly just as much. She supposed it was kind of ironic for someone who was so driven to keep the band on track, but homework was a much different, much more boring endeavor. 

“I kinda don’t feel like doing it right now. It’s almost lunch anyway. I’ll just do it… later.”

Kokoro scooted closer. “What do you wanna do then?”

“Sleep.” Misaki replied honestly. 

“Can you really fall asleep in ten minutes?” Kokoro asked, noting the time.

“Anything is possible if you try,” Misaki recited. “If you’re determined enough you can sleep wherever and whenever you want.”

Misaki moved her pencil case to the corner of her desk while doing her best to ignore Kokoro’s gaze. Crossing her arms on her desk, she glanced once more at the clock above the whiteboard before lowering her head. She just needed a quick power nap to make it through the rest of the day. And then a cup of coffee after school. And then maybe another nap after dinner…

Her eyes drooped shut and she felt herself relax. 

Maybe Kokoro would get up and go find something else to do until lunch. Preferably during lunch, too; Hagumi could come sweep her away and they could go do something else far away from Misaki.

Or maybe Kasumi would save the day. She got along with Kokoro too, right?

Curiosity got the better of her and she opened an eye.

Kokoro was mimicking her. She also had her head in her arms on her desk, but with eyes wide open, staring directly at Misaki.

“It helps if you close your eyes, Kokoro.” she mumbled.

“Oh, yeah. Probably.”

But Kokoro didn’t close her eyes, nor did Misaki close hers. Did Kokoro not need to blink or something? Maybe she was just so high-strung all the time that she could just keep her eyes open for hours. Her big, sparkly yellow eyes. The more Misaki stared back, the more she swore she could pick out little specks of gold in them. They were so bright; did normal humans have eyes like that?

Misaki wondered for a moment if Kokoro somehow appreciated her own drab gray irises, because she still hadn’t blinked yet. Did she not find this completely awkward? 

“Aren’t you gonna sleep?” Kokoro whispered.

“No.” Misaki decided. It was too weird with Kokoro just sitting right next to her like that.

“Do you wanna eat lunch with me and Hagumi?”

“No.”

Kokoro untangled her arms from under her head, reaching out to poke Misaki’s nose. “Stubborn. You should come anyway, though. I can feel a song coming on.”

Misaki swatted Kokoro’s hand away and held in a groan. Duty called at the worst times, as usual. She just couldn’t pass up an opportunity if Kokoro was really feeling it. She sat up and rubbed at her eyes with the palms of her hands. 

The bell rang and Kokoro stood up immediately, looking expectantly at a still-drowsy Misaki with that stupid grin plastered across her face. The kind of grin that told Misaki their lunch break was going to be a long and arduous one.

Nonetheless, Misaki dragged herself up from her desk and shuffled out the door behind her extremely satisfied classmate.

 

* * *

As it so happened, Kasumi had shown up as well as Hagumi. Together they occupied Kokoro’s attention long enough for Misaki to quietly slip away to the table behind them, where she could watch them be idiots from a safer distance. It wasn’t that she didn’t want to sit with them or anything. She usually did, but today she just wanted to take a little break.

Normal people probably didn’t have to take breaks from their friends (they  _ were _ friends, right?) but the members of Hello Happy were so exceptional that Misaki didn’t even feel bad about ditching them, sometimes even saying so with those exact words. She typically made sure to apologize to Kanon, at least. Speaking of Kanon, where was she? Misaki had a bone to pick about skipping practice.

She felt a weight settle in the seat next to her. 

“Misaki.”

“Arisa.” Misaki acknowledged.

“Why are you hiding behind your bandmates like a weirdo?”

“Probably the same reason you avoid Kasumi when she’s hanging out with them.”

Arisa grumbled. “They’re just so annoying. No offence.”

Misaki shook her head. “None taken. Kasumi did instantly remind me of Kokoro when I met her, though. I figured you would get along with all of them considering you and her are so close.”

“My tolerance level is exactly enough for Kasumi and nobody else. I know my limits.” Arisa slumped lazily in her seat.

“You mean you like her so you do whatever she says, right?” Misaki raised her eyebrows, still watching Kokoro’s back instead of looking at who she was talking to.

“Don’t go there,” Arisa snapped. “You don’t know me!”

“Uh-huh.” Misaki nodded. 

There was still a good deal of time left before their next class was due to start, so Misaki figured that she should be working on songwriting, even if Kokoro forgot she had come up with something not even twenty minutes ago. She reached down to her bag under her desk and pulled out her notebook and a pen, flipping open to where she’d left off. 

Arisa leaned over. “What’s that? Writing a song?”

Misaki shrugged. “I guess so. We need something new.”

“I didn’t know you wrote them. I just assumed Kokoro’s creepy suit people did all the hard stuff for you.”

Misaki struggled between telling Arisa that she wished they did, and that she didn’t need the weird suit people’s help; she could write music all on her own, thank you very much. Nico Nico tutorials went a long way these days, even for someone with next to no experience.

“Nope. It’s me. Her and I.” Misaki pointed at Kokoro with the tip of her pen, who was now animatedly telling a story to her friends.

Arisa narrowed her eyes. “She can write  _ music _ ?”

“Nope again. She can’t write music to save her life. She can think of it though. I just have to be on standby in case she comes up with something and starts humming to herself or whatever.”

Arisa leaned back in her chair. “That’s the dumbest thing I ever heard. That’s how you guys come up with songs?”

Misaki nodded. “Anything that’s not a cover.”

“And who chooses your covers?”

Misaki sighed and pointed once more at Kokoro. 

“Now I know why you had to cover a Naruto song.”

“She just watches a lot of anime, okay? Don’t tell me you wouldn’t cover a Naruto song if Kasumi asked you to.”

“You can’t compare you and Kokoro to Kasumi and I,” Arisa grumbled. “We’re totally different.”

Misaki smirked and tapped the end of her pen on the open page of her notebook. “Yeah, I’m not a total doormat. You  _ like _ Kasumi.”

“I do not.” Arisa huffed. “Not like  _ that _ . You got the wrong idea.”

“Everyone can tell, you know. Except Kasumi. You’re like a walking stereotype.”

Arisa shot up and looked like she was about to shout before she glanced around the room quickly and shrunk back into her seat 

“I’m  _ not.”  _ She hissed quietly.

“You’re just proving my point.”

“Pfft, you’re one to talk. Kokoro won’t shut up about you!”

Misaki’s smirk faded. “Huh? What do you mean?”

“What do you mean, what do I mean? I mean what I mean! Whenever she hangs out with Kasumi, you’re the topic of choice like eighty percent of the time.” Arisa hunched in her seat and crossed her arms. “It’s super annoying, ‘cause then Kasumi just wants to hear all about it and ignores me.”

Misaki leaned forward, just a little. “What does she say about me?”

“Dumb stuff, like how grouchy you are and how you just need to smile for once in your life or some garbage like that. I don’t know, I don’t pay attention to them.”

"There’s no way she talks about me,” Misaki shook her head. “She’s only just barely learned to remember my name.”

“She talks about you.”

Arisa and Misaki turned around at the same time to find Sayo looming over them, watching Hagumi stick her chopsticks in her mouth like a walrus.

The mood instantly died.

Misaki felt like she didn’t want to say anything anymore. Sayo was always so awkward, and a bit of a conversation killer, if she was going to be honest. She only had two modes; one was music, and the other was derogatory remarks made with no remorse.

“Ah, interesting.” Arisa said slowly. “Any reason why… you would know that? And what are you doing here, anyway?”

Sayo didn’t move to sit down, instead choosing to continue standing above her juniors and ignore Arisa’s second question. 

“Unfortunately, Hina is friends with Tsurumaki. They never shut up when they’re together.”

“How did that happen?” Arisa questioned. “I thought your sister was some genius or something. Wouldn’t she be smart enough to avoid the weirdos?”

Misaki stayed silent, but noticed Sayo’s jaw tighten. 

“You would think that. Hina once ate a dog treat.”

“I… see.” Misaki said, more to herself than Sayo.

Sayo nodded, expression still completely serious. “Yukina heard about it from Yamato, and she told me.”

Arisa’s lip curled in disgust. “How are you even related?”

Misaki turned to look in Arisa’s general direction. “Would you still like Kasumi if she ate dog treats?”

“This isn’t about me, this is about you. Don’t change the subject.” Arisa frowned.

“When did this become about me? This isn’t about anything.”

“From what I overheard it’s about you not being able to write a new song.” Sayo interjected from behind them.

“No,” Arisa’s fist pounded the table, “I want to talk more about your band’s crazy antics and how Kokoro totally–”

“My band isn’t crazy,” Misaki blurted out. “I mean, I’m not crazy. Neither is Kanon; it’s just them. And Kaoru.” She pointed in the direction of her two bandmates, who were, surprisingly, talking quietly among themselves. Hagumi’s eyes caught her watching and the hyperactive girl waved at her in excitement, but immediately returned to her conversation with Kasumi and Kokoro.

“You fit right in with them, if you ask me.” Sayo stated.

“I didn’t ask you.” Misaki snapped, regretting it immediately.

“Yeah, I don’t see it,” Arisa said, stepping in. “I went to Kokoro’s sakura party and the only other normal person there was Misaki. I think I’d have gone insane if she wasn’t there.”

“Thanks,” Misaki contributed, internally patting herself on the back for having the exact same thought at the time. “I like to think I’m pretty average in comparison. Totally normal.”

Arisa lifted a finger to her lip. “I do remember seeing you doing your math homework with an abacus though. What’s that about?”

“It's useful for visualization, okay?”

Both girls flinched as they each felt a hand grip the backs of their chairs tightly. Sayo leaned in a little closer between the two of them.

“No, you’re exactly like them. You think you’re normal, Okusawa?”

Misaki looked away nervously. “I… think so? It’s not like I wanted to join their band anyway. I tried to quit like three times already…”

“And yet,” Sayo took a step back, “at the end of the day you still put on that ridiculous bear suit. You still get up on stage with the rest of them and pretend you know what music is. If you weren’t like them, you would have left by now.”

Misaki and Arisa glanced at each other out of the corners of their eyes, both electing to say nothing and wait for the moment to pass. Sayo lingered, probably expecting some kind of response, but eventually the silence became too awkward even for her.

“Okusawa, Ichigaya.” Sayo at last departed, leaving the room entirely.

“Does she not know how to read the mood, or what?” Arisa finally muttered. “Why is she always like this?”

“I dunno.” Misaki mumbled, looking down at her notebook.

The thing was, Sayo wasn’t exactly wrong. In the end, she did still put on the bear costume, and she did get up on stage with the rest of Hello Happy. She did show up to practice; she did write their songs; and she did put (marginal) effort into tailoring the lyrics to Kokoro’s bubbly style. 

“Misaki!” 

Misaki’s head shot up, only to spot Kokoro giving her a wave from the table. She gestured for her to come over to them, and then patted the seat next to her with a big grin on her face.

Misaki smiled. She did smile, when she was with them. Sometimes.

“Don’t be such a stick in the mud,” Arisa spoke from beside her. “You can’t tell me you don’t like them. Even just a little.”

Misaki sighed, but more in acceptance than contempt. 

Without another word, she dragged her bag out from under the table and stood up. Kokoro’s company was probably the best remedy for a minor yet harsh dose of Sayo’s strongly worded opinions.

Maybe a little more positivity was something Misaki needed in her life. 

Whatever she needed, it definitely wasn’t the lingering curiosity Arisa had sparked in her. What did Kokoro say about her? Oh well, it didn’t really matter all that much.

Tomorrow would be another (hopefully more productive) day.

 

* * *

Why Kokoro insisted on coming to Misaki’s house this time was a complete and total mystery. She couldn’t even remember the last time she’d brought anyone over, and truthfully she wasn’t exactly excited about it. 

As disappointed as she was in herself for thinking it, she couldn’t help but wonder if Kokoro might silently judge her living space, even though she just lived in a regular old apartment with her dad and her younger sister. Kokoro’s bedroom was bigger than their entire home, and Misaki had a hard time believing anyone in their right mind would insist on spending precious hours at her place over a literal mansion. It wasn’t intentional of course, but Misaki knew that Kokoro’s lifestyle sometimes made others feel a little inadequate from time to time.

Misaki was nervous. She’d nearly tripped up the stairs once already, and now Kokoro was intently watching her fumble with her keys. Did she  _ ever _ stop smiling? It would be nice if she could, like, look somewhere else for two seconds so Misaki could focus on unlocking the front door.

At last her key slid in and the door clicked, swinging inward.

“Dad?” Misaki asked cautiously, peering inside. Kokoro leaned over her shoulder.

“Dad’s out!” A voice called from inside.

Misaki stepped in and gestured for Kokoro to follow her. 

“Who’s that?” Kokoro questioned as she took her shoes off.

“My sister. She’s probably working on homework in our room, so we can do some writing in the living room until my dad gets home.”

Kokoro shoved past her, prancing around the modest kitchen and into the living room. “You get to share with your sister? That sounds like fun!”

Misaki’s eyebrow twitched as she followed Kokoro. “I… guess so. There isn’t really an alternative.”

“It’s like a sleepover party every night. I always wanted to do one of those.” Kokoro said thoughtfully as her eyes darted about the room. “It’s nice in here… everything is so close together.”

Misaki didn’t really know what to say besides that they should get to work, but the thought of suggesting they be productive like she’d wanted made her feel like some kind of killjoy. It had been years since she’d brought anyone over, after all.

“Is someone with you?” a voice called from down the hall.

Kokoro moved immediately to look down said hall, smile widening as she caught sight of the younger Okusawa sibling peeking out from behind a half-open door. She looked almost identical to Misaki, but with shorter hair and bluer eyes.

“It’s tiny you,” Kokoro clapped cheerfully. “I’m Kokoro! Your sister’s friend.”

“Wow, you made a friend?” Misaki’s sister gasped, in what seemed like genuine surprise.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t make it a big deal. Don’t worry, we’ll stay out here.”

Her sister nodded and the door slid shut.

“Why does she sound so surprised?” Kokoro asked, turning to look at Misaki.

“Well,” Misaki began as she picked her bag up and headed for the couch, “I’m kind of like… I don’t know how to say it without making it sound really dumb. A shut-in? I dunno.”

Kokoro followed behind her with her own bag. “I’ve had plenty of friends; my mom didn’t really like any of them though. She doesn’t know you come over.”

Misaki plopped on the couch and paused, Kokoro slipping down beside her. “She doesn’t know? Does she even know you’re in a band?”

“Nope!” Kokoro chirped happily.

“I was being sarcastic but okay, sure.”

Come to think of it, Misaki had never actually seen the Tsurumaki parents – not even once. She supposed that they must have been busy with work all the time, considering how wealthy they were and how important Kokoro made them sound without actually knowing she was doing it. She’d only ever seen the black suit people, and the odd cleaning lady doing laundry or dusting fancy paintings in the halls.

That was kind of odd. She’d never really considered that aspect of Kokoro’s life before. 

“We should do something fun!” Kokoro smiled, leaning into Misaki’s side. Misaki flinched a little.

“Like writing a song?” Misaki suggested, unsure about what to do with herself now.

“Like watch a movie! Or play a game. Do you have any games, Misaki?”

“Um, not really. There’s not much to do around here.”

“We could... we could… hmmm,” Kokoro pondered. “What do you usually do when you go to a friend’s house?”

“Usually homework,” Misaki rubbed at the back of her head. “Nothing too exciting. Didn’t you come over so we could work on the new song?”

Kokoro looked down at her lap and started fidgeting with the hem of her shorts. “I guess so. We can do anything together and still have fun, right?”

“Right.” Misaki nodded, though she couldn’t help but catch the dip in Kokoro’s usual enthusiasm. There came a sharp twist in her gut, and now Misaki wasn’t particularly in the mood to do anything.

It’s not like  _ she _ wanted to do any real work either; it was more like they had to. It was important that they didn’t get distracted by normal things that people their age enjoyed doing. But she hadn’t had anyone over in so long…

“We could do something. For a little while, I guess.”

“Yay!” Kokoro jumped up from the couch, leaving Misaki to slump over where she’d just been sitting.

“What should we do? Do you have any ideas?” Kokoro’s golden hair swished from side to side as she bounced up and down on the spot.

Misaki pushed herself upright. “Uh, well, not really. I’m not the most exciting person to hang out with, I guess.”

“Yeah, you’re right.”

“Hey–”

“But that’s fine, I like you anyway. How about you show me your room? Is it nice?” Kokoro turned around and inched towards the hallway, not waiting for an answer.

Instead of telling Kokoro to stay out of her room like she should, Misaki’s brain immediately flashed back to her conversation with Arisa. Kokoro likes her anyway? What did it mean? Kokoro likes everyone, though; she probably talks about everyone all the time, not just her. Not  _ like _ like; just like, like a normal like. Kokoro likes Misaki. Kokoro likes everyone.

_ What the hell am I doing? _ Misaki thought to herself.  _ This is stupid. I’m way overthinking something Kokoro said, of all people. _

Stupid Arisa. Stupid Sayo. It didn’t matter all that much anyway.

But what did matter was Kokoro sliding open her bedroom door to confront the younger Okusawa, who only looked at her for a moment from her desk before getting back to her homework. She had headphones in at least, so it wasn’t like she could eavesdrop or anything.

Kokoro turned around and waved Misaki over excitedly. 

What should have been a sound of protest came out more like a cross between a nervous hiccup and an exhausted whine, so Misaki just cut her losses and dragged her feet to her room in the wake of her hyperactive friend.

“Just a quick look, okay? I don’t wanna bother her,” Misaki nodded in the direction of her sister, who was probably pretending they weren’t there right now.

“Wow!” Kokoro shouted, hands raised to her cheeks.

“Kokoro!”

“Misaki! You have a bunk bed! Can I go on top?”

Misaki rubbed at her forehead. “No, that’s my sister’s. I’m on the bottom.”

Sure enough, the top bunk was decorated with a vast assortment of plush toys, a majority of which were handmade by Misaki herself. She had mentioned more than once that she liked to make them for her sister, and Kokoro had definitely seen her working on them during what little spare time she had.

“Oh, of course. Your bed looks kinda boring in comparison you know.” Kokoro sat on the bottom bunk, still sounding as happy as she usually did.

“Thanks.” Misaki sat next to her and looked around her room. There wasn’t much in here either; just a couple of desks and a bookshelf, along with whatever stuff her sister happened to be into. Misaki was a simple person, and the only thing that looked a little out of place was a stack of colourful Hello Happy World flyers on the floor next to her bed.

“It’s so small,” Kokoro commented. “But it suits you.”

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing? I honestly can’t tell with you.”

Kokoro gave her a playful shove with her shoulder. “Your room needs to smile just as much as you do. But I don’t mind.”

“That’s pretty vague.” Misaki said blankly. She knew it was a bad idea to have Kokoro over. She should have fought harder to go back to the Tsurumaki mansion instead. She was just boring and average; nothing that would impress someone like Kokoro in any capacity. She drew her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them in some weird act of self-defense.

“Ooooh,” Kokoro leaned down and plucked something out from under the bed. Misaki’s hat.

“I was wondering where that went.” Misaki’s voice cracked a little. 

“Me too.” Kokoro agreed as she put the hat on, tilting it a little to the left.

They settled into silence and Misaki hated it. They just had nothing to do. Misaki spent her recreational time alone; she had nothing to offer to anyone else. Nothing like a fancy house or a tennis court or a pool or anything fun like that. 

She felt bad for Kokoro, and then felt bad about feeling bad, struggling to come up with literally anything to say that wasn’t going to make her sound like a total downer. Part of her still remembered the conversation she’d had ages ago with Kokoro about the band – about how Kokoro didn’t like having negatives in her life, and so she paid less attention to Misaki as a result. In the beginning, Kokoro didn’t even care to remember her name.

They should probably ask Kaoru to write their songs. They might not get anything done, but it had to be more fun than this. They could all jam on Kokoro’s wavelength the way Hello Happy was meant to, and Misaki could just put on Michelle and dance in the background, or maybe even quit for real this time.

“What are those?”

Misaki snapped out of her thoughts and looked in the direction Kokoro was pointing as she cheerfully swung her feet back and forth. On the bottom shelf of her bookcase were a few messy stacks of CDs.

“That’s… research I guess?” Misaki said, having no better explanation.

Kokoro hopped down from the bed and didn’t wait for permission before lifting a stack off the shelf and sitting down on the floor to shuffle through it. Misaki sighed and let go of her legs, stretching a little before sitting back down on the floor next to Kokoro. 

“Who would have guessed you listen to idol music?” Kokoro observed as she glanced at the back of a CD case.

“I don’t.” Misaki rushed out. “I mean, I do, but only because I want to hear all kinds of things now that I’m in a band. Or writing for a band, whatever.”

“Is this from America?” Kokoro pulled out another CD with a jacket entirely in English.

“Some of it is. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know most of the words, you can still tell what sounds good.”

“This is so cool!” Kokoro spread the stack out on the floor. “You have so many. Can we listen to some? Maybe it’ll help us if I listen too.”

Misaki was a little confused about how excited Kokoro was when it came to just listening to music; she herself saw it more as part of her job as a member of the band than anything else.

“Sure, but I’ve got all of these on my phone. It’ll be easier to listen on that.” She fished around in her pocket and pulled out her headphones. “Let’s go back to the living room though, I don’t wanna be a distraction.”

“Oh, right.” Kokoro nodded and gathered up the CDs she’d pulled out, doing her best to fit them all back on the shelf.

It wasn’t long before Misaki found herself sitting back on the couch next to Kokoro again, one headphone in her ear and the other in Kokoro’s. Her companion almost radiated a silent giddiness as she scrolled through albums and chose songs at random, yellow eyes reflecting brightly on the screen.

Kokoro was weird. Strange and weird. She almost never did or said what Misaki expected her to, and in a way, that was… well, what Misaki expected. Having friends was more difficult than anticipated, especially one as airheaded as Kokoro was half the time. Despite all that, it was still  _ nice _ to have company. 

At the same time, Kokoro was like some invincible force who didn’t take no for an answer, and if she did it was because she was confident enough in both herself and everyone else that it never really mattered in the end. If she felt as insecure about Misaki as Misaki did about herself, then Kokoro would have surely let her quit by now.

There was a warm sensation in her side as she realized Kokoro was leaning into her again, completely absorbed in the music they were listening to. Misaki had to admit, it was pretty comforting after the private internal episode she’d had on her bed only fifteen minutes ago.

After a song or two her arm started hurting, sandwiched awkwardly between the two of them. She didn’t want to ruin the calming mood, so she carefully pulled her arm out behind them and then cursed herself when she realized she didn’t know where to put it. 

_ Good going Misaki, now what? _

The least uncomfortable option was snaking it behind Kokoro’s back, but that would be kind of strange to do, wouldn’t it? So instead, she continued to sit with her hand behind her back like a big idiot, and now it only ached even more.

Misaki knew she was a little socially awkward, but in the snarky sarcasm sort of way, not in the… whatever this was way. She may have been less self-aware than she figured she was.

_ Kokoro smells nice _ , she thought for a split second before her eyes widened and she tried to think about literally anything else. She knew that wasn’t a normal friendship-related thought, social ineptness be damned.

“Eeugh,” Misaki blurted out as her mouth moved faster than her brain. It felt like only a matter of time before she would become so embarrassed that she’d have to politely ask Kokoro to leave. They could always song-write later.

“Hm?” Kokoro glanced up at Misaki’s reddening face. 

Her eye twitched as messy golden bangs brushed against her cheek. She hit maximum close-contact-related ineptitude as all she could think to do was look in the opposite direction, where there was nothing but a completely empty wall.

Kokoro wiggled a bit and then quickly leaned forward. “Oh, you’re squished! You could’ve just said something, Misaki.”

Misaki made a strange noise in the back of her throat as Kokoro grabbed her arm and positioned it more comfortably behind herself, moving even closer than before and overpowering all of Misaki’s rational thought.

_ Don’t say anything _ , Misaki thought to herself.  _ Just never move again, for all eternity. _

Kokoro settled and went back to scrolling through albums as Misaki struggled to parse her thoughts. She didn’t know what to make of herself. Naturally, she gravitated towards distracting herself with work or something to prevent her realistic side from coming to any hasty conclusions, but at the same time she found she liked the warmth at her side and it would probably be fine to sit together a little longer.

Longer turned into a lot longer, even as she periodically fought with herself to be productive instead of enjoying the moment.  _ Wait  _ – _ when did this turn into enjoyment? _

Everything was moving all too quickly. She wasn’t even sure what she was thinking anymore.

She needed to talk to Kanon.

 

* * *

Two days later, Misaki finally got Kanon to answer her phone after calling repeatedly and leaving twelve voicemails. 

“You haven’t been suspicious at all.” Misaki muttered from across the table.

Kanon looked guilty, more than anything else. Guilty, and nervous. Meeting at a cafe right out in public might not have been one of Misaki’s better ideas, but it was the only thing she could think of on the spot when Kanon had finally agreed to stop avoiding her.

“I, um, I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Kanon replied quietly.

Why did she always have to sound so meek? Misaki didn’t want to be mad at her. She wanted help, but Kanon had been making that very difficult over the last few weeks.

“Uh-huh.” Misaki slumped in her seat. “The faster you tell me what’s been going on, the easier this is gonna be. I need your help but you haven’t answered my texts since you missed practice.”

Kanon picked at her pancake. “I was just busy, Misaki. Nothing for you to worry about, o-okay?”

“You and Hagumi and Kaoru were all busy at the same time? Out of all of you, Hagumi skipping makes the most sense. At least she does sports so she has a real excuse.”

“Th-they didn’t show up either? I had no idea…”

Misaki sighed. “Look, just promise you’ll tell me what’s going on later. For now… I need your help.”

Kanon rested her fork gently on the table next to her plate. “With what? I promise I’ll do everything I can, no matter what it is.”

Misaki took in a breath and leaned forward, shoving her suspicions to the back of her mind for later.

“Kokoro’s been acting weird.”

Kanon opened her mouth as if to say something, but closed it again after a few moments. She pressed her lips together for a second and then tried again.

“Don’t you… don’t you always think she’s acting weird?”

“No,” Misaki waving her hands for emphasis, “she’s like  _ weird _ weird now. Around me. I don’t know how to describe it.”

“I-I’m sure she’s fine. Nothing s-strange going on...” Kanon stumbled over her words and her eyes darted back and forth.

“Why are you doing that thing with your eyes?”

“What thing?” Kanon’s eyes darted around again. “I’m not doing anything.”

“Come on Kanon, you’re supposed to be my rock. The person who shoves a straw up through Michelle’s mouth so I don’t pass out between songs. You understand the difference between mascot bears and real bears!”

Kanon made a strange squeak, her hands flying to her mouth.

“Kanon?”

Misaki groaned as she watched her companion shake her head back and forth, hands still clasped over her lips.

As much as she would prefer not to, it was time to resort to intimidation tactics. Misaki sat up straight in her chair, placed her hands on the table expectantly and gave Kanon the best uncomfortable glare she could muster.

Kanon didn’t even last ten seconds before her eyes began to water.

Misaki held firm.

“Okay, okay!” Kanon finally blurted out. “I- I’m not supposed to tell you. But I-I…”

“What aren’t you supposed to tell me?”

“Krkkrolksuyyo,” Kanon mumbled.

“Huh?” Misaki leaned forward. “Kanon, you have to speak up.”

“It’s Kokoro,” Kanon whispered. “Kokoro likes you.”

Misaki rolled her eyes and sat back in her seat. “Yeah, that’s what she’s being weird about. It’s as if she suddenly likes me as much as she likes everyone else now or something.”

Kanon just stared at her blankly. 

“Uhh, that’s not what I mean? I mean, yes, that’s what I mean. Just as much as everyone else. Yes.”

Misaki readjusted the neck of her hoodie. “I don’t get it. We’ve been trying to get through this new song for weeks and suddenly she just wants to skip out and go to the movies or something. She keeps bugging me in class for pencils like every day and she always asks me to eat lunch with her. She even insisted on coming to my house the other day.”

“Um.”

“I know, right? And she always seems so interested in what I’m doing now, even though everything I do is boring and normal. You know what we did at my house? We just listened to music, for like two hours. And she sat so close to me, like right beside me and nobody’s ever done that before. I didn’t know what to do and then she takes my arm and… she keeps taking my hat and...”

Misaki’s eyes shot wide open. She blinked at Kanon, her mind racing as she recalled her lunchtime conversation with Arisa yet again. Everyone skipping practice except her and Kokoro. Weeks worth of mysteriously missing pencils. Sitting at Kokoro’s table, watching her slide down into her lap. 

No way. Surely she was just jumping to conclusions. It would take some serious mental gymnastics to translate whatever it was Kokoro was doing into…

“M-Misaki? Are you okay?”

“She doesn’t… does she? Is she? No. There’s no way.”

“No way what? Whatever could you possibly be talking abou–” 

Kanon flinched as Misaki slapped the table with her palm. “It’s not possible.”

“Well,” Kanon clasped her hands together nervously, “I kind of just told you it is? It just… is…”

“I’m sure this is all just a big misunderstanding.” Misaki resolved. “We can just forget this conversation ever happened and I’ll go back to being my hermit self and nothing will change.”

“But it’s really not a misunderstanding, she came and talked to me about it and–”

“Thanks for your time Kanon, I can take it from here.”

“Misaki, don’t!” Kanon stretched her arm out as Misaki stood up, as if to catch her or somehow prevent her from leaving. “Just let me explain. Isn’t she your friend?”

Misaki sighed and pulled her hat a little lower over her eyes. “She’s my friend. She’s Kokoro, she can do anything and she’s going to be happy for all of eternity. She has a big house and a lot of money and she’s been to Europe and she can probably spend her time with whoever she wants.”

She paused.

“I’m only me. Just Misaki.”

“You’re more than that. Kokoro told me what she thinks about you.”

“She doesn’t know what she’s talking about then. I have things to do; I’ll see you at practice next week.” Misaki picked up her bag and walked swiftly towards the exit.

She felt bad about being mean to Kanon, but her face was burning up and she was thinking way too hard about impossible things. Surely it couldn’t be true, and Misaki would prove that there was absolutely nothing between them by doing exactly nothing about it. In two days, she would meet Kokoro at her mansion and they would sit in her room and write music and nothing out of the ordinary would happen and she would have no invasive or unfamiliar thoughts. 

Kokoro was exceptional. She radiated joy. 

There was no way she could see anything truly special in Misaki. 

 

* * *

Being at Kokoro’s house felt odd now, but Misaki did her best to ignore that and pretend like nothing was reminding her of what Kanon said at the cafe. The doorman had greeted her like usual and she’d wandered up the grand staircase as she always did. This time though, her feet felt weighted, like she was dragging a ball and chain across the impeccably clean plush rugs as she meandered along. 

She paused when she got to Kokoro’s door and a feeling of doubt ran through her for a moment. Doubt about what, she didn’t exactly know. She swallowed her nerves and lifted her hand towards the door handle. 

_ Just act cool, Misaki _ , she thought to herself. 

Act cool?

“For what purpose…” Misaki mumbled under her breath, in response to her own stray thought. Talking to herself probably wasn’t a good look but that was just the way it went sometimes.

First and foremost, she had to remember Kokoro was her friend. Nothing ever had to come between that friendship, and nothing had to change. There really wasn’t any reason for her to be worried about what Kanon told her, because it simply wasn’t true to begin with. It couldn’t and wouldn’t be true.

She had to leave her baggage at the door. It was that simple. Just waltz in and tell Kokoro they’re working on the song and they aren’t going to do anything else until it’s finished, or even after it’s finished. After it was done, Misaki would go home and do her homework like a good student.

“Misaki? Your face looks funny, is something wrong?”

Misaki took a step back and made a strange noise as she realized Kokoro had opened the door while she was lost in her thoughts, and now she was standing there like a moron holding her hand out for no reason. She quickly shoved it behind her back and forced a smile.

“Nothing’s wrong. Nothing at all!”

She did a double take as she realized Kokoro was wearing her hat, which she’d walked out the door with the day she’d gone to Misaki’s house. Misaki had replaced her hat with her red bandana, forgetting Kokoro had kidnapped her usual headwear and assuming it’d gotten lost under her bed again.

“Are you sure?” Kokoro quirked an eyebrow. 

Misaki decided to skillfully dodge the question. “Hat cute. I mean, good hat. My hat.”

Kokoro flicked the brim of the hat. “Yeah, isn’t it super adorable? It’s my new favourite hat now! And my only hat, I guess?”

“Ah…” Misaki wanted to comment Kokoro had claiming the hat as hers now, but she was also terrified of saying something dumb again.

She followed Kokoro through the open door, shutting it behind her and breathing in deeply through her nose. 

_ You can still save this, Misaki. You can still recover. _

Kokoro spun around in a circle with her arms up, her bright red summer dress blooming around her. “Do you wanna have a sleepover Misaki?”

“...okay. Yes. Sure.”

Well, so much for recovery.

Misaki resisted the urge to put her face in her hands as Kokoro hopped around, pausing in front of her floor length mirror to tilt her newly claimed hat a little to the left. “I guess it doesn’t really match my dress, but that’s fine. Oh, but your bandana!”

Misaki looked up and patted the knot at the top of her head. “Oh, uh, yeah. I guess it’s the same colour.”

Kokoro skipped her way over and got right up in Misaki’s face with no hesitation, eyes fixated on her prize. Misaki tried take a step back, but her legs wouldn’t cooperate. She just stood there with wide eyes as Kokoro’s hand brushed her hair gently to the side. The tips of her fingers grazed Misaki’s cheek and travelled slowly up the side of her head until she ran her hands across the neatly tied red knot she was looking for.

“But it’s also nice on you though…” Kokoro said quietly and she played with the bow.

Misaki’s hand twitched and she half wanted to grab Kokoro’s arm and move it away, but instead she rested her palm on Kokoro’s forearm and ran it gently up towards her hand. Kokoro was still looking at the bow, but Misaki’s eyes were on Kokoro’s face, watching for some kind of reaction as she closed her hand around Kokoro’s smaller one. 

It was so hard to read her; she barely seemed like she was paying attention. As Misaki raised her other arm up and began picking at the knot, Kokoro dropped her gaze to look into Misaki’s eyes and the bandana suddenly became way more difficult to untie. Her fingers struggled a little as Kokoro continued to smile softly, drawing her hand back down and letting her thumb graze Misaki’s warming cheeks.

Kokoro patiently waited for Misaki to finished untying the bandana, thumb drifting gently back and forth. By the time she was done, Misaki’s hands were sweating and she carefully avoided letting Kokoro touch them as she traded her new headpiece for her old one.

“You still look good in the hat, so you can borrow it for a while, okay?” Kokoro placed Misaki’s hat back on its owner’s head and took a step backwards as if she hadn’t just done anything remotely intimate, and used the bandana to tie her hair up into a long ponytail.

Misaki almost wheezed as she let out the breath she’d unknowingly been holding since Kokoro had skipped over to her.

“I have to pee.”

Misaki turned and shuffled quickly in the direction of Kokoro’s personal master bathroom, not daring to look back. As soon as she was inside she locked the door and sunk to the ground, digging her phone out of her hoodie pocket. Texting wasn’t an option; she had no time to wait for a reply. She dialed Kanon’s number and sunk her other hand into her hair, gripping at the roots.

“Hello? Misaki?”

“Eugh.” Misaki replied, remembering that she wasn’t even sure what she wanted to say.

“M-Misaki?”

“I’ve been at Kokoro’s house for  _ ten minutes _ and… and I…”

“You what?”

Misaki pulled her hand out of her hair. “One sec, my hands are sweaty.” She put the phone down on the ground, ran to wash her hands at the sink, and then huddled back down against the door with the phone back to her ear.

“Misaki I think you–”

“Kokoro’s doing weird stuff again. What do I do?”

Misaki swore she heard Kanon sigh on the other end of the line.

“What weird stuff? Where are you right now?”

“In her bathroom. She just touched my face and stuff. She asked me to sleep over and I said yes and I don’t know why.”

“Oh, that’s great! I’m proud of you Misaki.”

“Proud of me? What?”

“Just keep doing what you’re doing and you’ll be fine, okay?”

Misaki gripped her phone tighter. “Doing what?! I’m not doing anything.”

Kanon giggled. “You’re always so put together, this is kinda funny. Who knew you’d be so easily embarrassed?”

“I’m  _ not _ embarrassed.”

“Just be yourself. Bye Misaki!”

Misaki clutched at her phone with both hands. “No, Kanon! Kanon!”

She’d already hung up. Very helpful.

There was a knock at the door. “Misaki? You’re acting really strange today. Are you sure you’re alright?”

Misaki scrambled to her feet. “I’m fine, I’m fine. I’ll be right out.”

“Okay! I’ll go ask for some snacks in the kitchen while you’re busy.”

Kokoro’s shadow moved from in front of the door and Misaki shook her head in an attempt to clear it. She turned to look in the huge ornate mirror that hung over the sink and fiddled with a few loose strands of hair. She reached up to touch her cheek, the one Kokoro had brushed her thumb against moments ago. 

The memory of the recent encounter made her cheeks flush again and she struggled not to look down at her socks. She was still Misaki in the mirror, and she still didn’t want to put too much thought into what was going on, but she had to decide what she was going to do about it. Denial wasn’t getting her anywhere, and deep inside she knew she was just being stubborn, rather than stupid.

She wasn’t even really sure what she was feeling. Not once had she thought about anyone in a way that went beyond friendship (most people she met barely made it past acquaintance), but she knew she wasn’t against the idea of another girl. But Kokoro? Really? 

What she did know was that hiding wasn’t going to get her any answers, and she needed to know first-hand from Kokoro what was running through her mind before she made any rash decisions. For all she knew, Kokoro was being overly friendly without realizing it, and maybe Kanon had misunderstood what was going on with that.

Kanon was right. She just had to be herself and work it out from there, and spend less time worrying about the traits she possessed that she wasn’t incredibly fond of. If Kokoro could see goods things in her, then she had to see them for herself as well. 

She emerged from the bathroom just as Kokoro slammed her door open with her bare foot while balancing multiple platters of food across both her arms. 

“Ah, Kokoro! Careful!” Misaki dove forward and barely caught what was literally a silver platter full of delicacies she’d never seen before in her life.

“Thanks Misaki! Put it over here.” She gestured to the table.

“Couldn’t anyone help you? How did you carry three of those things up here?” 

“No, I can do it myself, no problem!”

Misaki grumbled. “You nearly dropped all these… sausage thingies all over the floor!”

“Yeah but you caught them so I made it just fine!” she gave Misaki a smile as she rearranged some of the fallen food. Misaki had no idea what most of it was, but it looked like the kind of fancy finger foods she’d seen in movies before – the kind people ate at clubs or important parties.

“Let’s start with a movie. Is that good?” Kokoro asked as she sat down on the floor at her table.

Misaki almost said no out of reflex, but managed a nod instead. “Sure.” She sat down at the table. “In here? I don’t see a TV.”

“Oh, right.” Kokoro stood back up and quickly ran to the door and flung it open, revealing one of her mysterious black-suited… bodyguards? Misaki still didn’t know what to call them, but they always seemed to be there when Kokoro needed something.

Ten minutes later, Kokoro and Misaki were seated on a brand-new deep red couch in front of an equally new TV that was bigger than Misaki’s dining table.

“Is this really necessary?” Misaki’s eye twitched.

Kokoro looked around suspiciously. “My mom is in the living room, so we can’t go there or she’ll know you’re here.”

“So you bought a brand-new TV just to avoid her?”

“Yep! She won’t be happy if she sees you.”

“What’s with your mom being like that? Are you not allowed to have friends or something?”

Kokoro frowned and it looked very wrong on her. “Maybe we can talk about it later.”

“Oh, yeah of course. Whatever you want.” Misaki was very curious now, but she also didn’t want to pry. She decided she didn’t like it when Kokoro responded to something sounding that serious.

They debated about what to watch for a while, but eventually settled next to each other in a comfortable silence. Misaki learned that Kokoro’s lights could be turned on and off by clapping, and now they were sitting in darkness as the evening slowly took over outside. Halfway through the movie, Kokoro had blatantly leaned into Misaki’s side again, and she still didn’t know what she was supposed to do about it. If she was truly being herself, she wouldn’t do anything, but she also wanted to do  _ something _ ?

Kokoro decided for her, scooting forward and moving Misaki’s arm around behind herself, like she’d done earlier when they were listening to music.

By the time the movie was done, Misaki’s arm had fallen asleep.

 

* * *

Thoughts of Hello Happy’s still-missing new song crossed her mind as she watched Kokoro pull every game system known to man out of her closet. 

She didn’t quite seem to understand that Misaki didn’t really play games outside of arcade rhythm-related ones, and Misaki also didn’t really want to spell it out because then the black suit people might come back with an entire arcade just for them to use. She had to admit she was a little jealous, but the novelty was getting old fast.

As the night wore on, Misaki found that, in a wild turn of events, she was actually enjoying Kokoro’s company. Sure, she’d probably wake up with a few grey hairs, but Kokoro was truly all about having fun and making sure Misaki wasn’t boring herself to death. Even if she was terrible at video games, and only slightly less so at card games.

Close to midnight, Kokoro’s eyes began to droop and Misaki suggested they get to sleep, to which Kokoro could only nod.

Misaki thought she was going to have to sleep in her hoodie or something until the black suit people knocked on the door and presented her with clothes that were actually from her own house. That was a little creepy, but it also meant she got to sleep in her usual comfy tank top/shorts combo.

Kokoro opted for only a giant shirt – likely because the universe just wanted to make Misaki’s life that much more difficult. 

“Look,” Kokoro ran around the sides of her bed, untying the curtains and drawing them closed. “It’s like a tent, like camping!”

“This is literally nothing like camping,” Misaki said. “But it is kinda cool.”

Kokoro’s bed was gigantic, so there was more than enough room for them to share and for Misaki to huddle in the corner, which was exactly what she planned to do while she was still figuring Kokoro out.

The ceiling of Kokoro’s canopy bed had lights in it – because of course it did – and Misaki felt a lot more comfortable once they were off and she could turn away to do some thinking on her own. Was she having fun with Kokoro? Yeah – so far, so good. Was she embarrassed? A little, but less so after talking to Kanon. Did Kokoro like her? It was still a little unclear, in her opinion. Did she like Kokoro? 

“Hey, Misaki?” Kokoro whispered from the other side of the bed.

“Hm?”

“Do you like me?”

Misaki froze. “Uhhh…”

What horrible timing.

She felt Kokoro sit up. “I mean, are we friends? Like me and Hagumi? Or…”

Misaki rolled over onto her back. “Yeah, we’re friends. Do you think we aren’t?”

The blankets shifted a little. “I guess we are. You’re here after all. It’s just…”

Misaki sat up and felt around behind her for the light switch hidden on the side of the headboard. When the light came on, she saw Kokoro sitting cross-legged with a passive expression that really didn't suit her at all.

“What’s wrong, Kokoro?”

Kokoro shook her head and strained a smile. “It’s probably nothing, I just never had a sleepover before! Maybe I’m just too excited.”

“I don’t buy it.” Misaki was concerned now. “You’re always asking if I’m okay, and now I’m asking you. Did I do something to make you think we’re not friends?”

Kokoro’s smile faded a little. “No, you didn’t do anything. But you’re confusing me a little, by not doing things. I always have to ask if you wanna do stuff with me, and lots of times you say no, but sometimes you say yes and then it seems like you still don’t like doing things with me.”

Misaki picked at the blanket and looked away. “I know I say no a lot; sometimes, I just have things to do. Just because I don’t want to skip practice doesn’t mean I don’t want to hang out with you.”

Kokoro leaned back on her hands. “But the other day when you sat with us at lunch, you left right away to go sit behind us. And you didn’t wanna do homework with me, and when we were at your house you acted like there was nothing to do, but there’s so much to do! You didn’t even want me to come over.”

“That’s… I didn’t mean to make you upset. I’m like that with everyone. And I guess I just think I’m boring and my house is boring. I didn’t know what you’d like.” Misaki suddenly didn’t feel like things were going very well. It all felt wrong, but now she was looking from Kokoro’s perspective and she could only see what she was afraid of being. Disappointing. 

Kokoro tapped her shoulder, and Misaki turned back in her direction. “If you didn’t mean it, that’s okay. It’s no problem.” She finished with a genuine grin. 

How could that have been so easy? No way. Misaki wasn’t satisfied with that.

“I’m sorry.” She blurted out. “I’m just confused, I guess. Everyone else has been acting really strange lately, and I’ve been having confusing thoughts and maybe I’m just really bad at reading people but you keep doing things that make me even more confused. I don’t mean that in a bad way, I just–”

“Oh, I didn’t mean to confuse you.” Kokoro suddenly looked worried. “I thought I was being super obvious!”

Misaki blinked at her. “What? Obvious about what?”

“Oh, that I like you! Y’know, like a real like. But I guess you don’t feel that way, huh?”

Misaki opened her mouth, but no words came out. She got it – she wasn’t dumb – but how could Kokoro just say that?

Kokoro put her index fingers together and twirled them around a bit. “I asked Kanon if she knew if you liked girls or not and she said she didn’t know, but Kaoru said there’s no way you didn’t, so then I just got real confident you would notice.”

“Kaoru said  _ what? _ ”

“Yeah I know, right? She said she just knows and told me not to worry about it, so then I just went for it!”

Misaki had trouble following. “You… you did?”

“Yep, the first thing I did was tell everyone not to come to practice so I could ask you if you wanted to go out with me, but then you didn’t want to so I got nervous and gave up right away.”

“What? You didn’t ask me out, you just said we should go see a movie or something!”

“Yeah, I asked you out!” Kokoro cheerfully recalled.

Misaki’s fists clenched the sheets. “That’s not how you ask that question! And what do you mean you gave up?”

“I just gave up. But Kanon told me not to give up, and that you just needed time. I asked everyone what to do to be able to talk to you more, and Kaoru told me about the pencil thing.”

“The pencil thing? What?”

“Y’know, asking for a pencil? If I have to ask for a new pencil then I get to talk to you every day!”

Misaki was at a loss for words. “Oh my god…”

“And then,” Kokoro continued, “You came to eat lunch with me but you left when Kasumi and Hagumi showed up, and then you sat with Arisa so I thought you liked Arisa.”

“You thought I  _ what?!” _

“But then Kaoru told me she knows love when she sees it, and you definitely weren’t interested in Arisa and that I should keep doing my best! Kanon said I should be even more forward, so I invited myself to your house.” Kokoro crossed her arms as if she were exceptionally proud of this idea.

“You didn’t really seem like you wanted to do anything with me, but then when we listened to music you let me move your arm around me, and I thought that was obvious enough but after that you kinda didn’t really act like anything happened.” Kokoro tapped her chin in thought. “So then I figured there was no way!”

Misaki groaned. “I was just nervous! Nobody’s been to my house in years.”

“Well after that I gave up for real, but then Kanon said I just couldn’t give up! That’s not what anyone else in Hello Happy would do, and we’ve never given up on anything before. So I thought I could try one more time,” Kokoro sat back up. “I thought if we had a sleepover then I could figure out for sure if you liked me or not, but then you hid in my bathroom for ages… but then we had fun, I think? You’re really confusing, Misaki!”

Alright, so everything did kind of make sense now. But why would Kokoro go through all that when she clearly had no shame?

Misaki rubbed at her eyes. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”

Kokoro paused for a moment as if she was deep in thought. “You’re right, why didn’t I do that?”

She scooted closer to Misaki with a smile across her face, obviously still in shameless confession mode. “So do you like girls? Do you like me?

“Y-you can’t just ask that!” Misaki found herself stuttering as her face flushed again.

Confusion wiped the smile from Kokoro’s face. “But you just told me to?”

“It’s different now, after all that stuff you said! It’s a lot to take in, okay?” 

“You can just say you don’t, it’s fine.” Kokoro scooted back to her side of the bed. “You should do what makes you happiest, no matter what. I’ll understand.”

Misaki wanted to scream, but she was so tired. She felt like she’d aged forty years in the last ten minutes, and one in the morning probably wasn’t the best time for them to be hashing out feelings or confusing each other even more than before.

"It’s not like that,” Misaki groaned. “It’s just really late and this is a little too much for me to deal with right now.”

_ Be yourself. Be honest. _

Hopefully, her honesty wouldn’t also be too much for Kokoro.

“You can think about it then.” Kokoro grinned at her again. “For as long as you need, okay?”

Misaki nodded. “I think we both need some sleep.”

“I can go sleep on the couch if you want, I don’t mind.”

“No, no,” Misaki shook her head. “It’s fine. Your bed is huge anyway… we can both just stay here.”

“Fine with me!”

Kokoro reached behind her side of the headboard and flicked the light off once again, pulling the covers up around herself in the darkness. Misaki rolled over into the corner again and drew her knees up to her chest.

“Night, Misaki!”

“Good night.”

Misaki didn’t really know what to do now. It seemed obvious, but now she had a lot to think about before she could actually answer Kokoro truthfully. What, exactly, would follow if she said yes? Dating within the band seemed like a pretty big no-no, but so did half of the stuff they did on the daily. What about Kokoro’s parents, who didn’t even know she was there right now? What would everyone else say? Would it even be possible to keep their private lives separate from the band?

Above all else, she couldn’t help but wonder what it was Kokoro saw in her to begin with. Why would she want to be with Misaki, instead of someone who shared her enthusiasm for everything she did? Someone who could actually fit in with her lifestyle? She had to know.

“Hey, Kokoro?” she whispered.

“Yeah?”

“Why do you like me?”

Misaki tightened her grip on the blanket, and she inched a bit further under the covers. She sort of wished Kokoro had fallen asleep already, so she didn’t have to hear an answer. She didn’t want to keep being told she needed to smile more, or that she just needed to be happy all the time. It wasn’t as simple as that.

“You never give up on something you care about,” Kokoro replied quietly, sleep evident in her voice. “Even when it’s really hard, or when you have to say something you know we won’t like to hear.”

It was so quiet Misaki could hear her own heartbeat. “But you’re like that too. It’s nothing special.”

“Did you know I told Michelle that she’s the glue that holds the band together? No matter what, she’s always there when we need her and she does her best to keep our spirits up.”

Great. More praise for a fictional bear personality. Exactly what Misaki wanted to hear. “That’s great. What does that have to do with me?”

Kokoro sounded sleepier by the moment. “She doesn’t really like to do all that, you know? And that’s not all she does… she books our shows… she writes our songs… the music too, she learned all of it from scratch… just to help me, to help all of us…”

Misaki folded in on herself even further. “She doesn’t do those things. I do.” 

“I saw Michelle today.” Kokoro mumbled.

 

“No you didn’t.”

“I did,” Kokoro insisted, still barely awake. “I saw her when I asked her to sleep over, and she said yes. I saw her when we watched a movie together, and she let me pick whatever I wanted…”

Misaki didn’t know what to say. “Kokoro, that was me. I did that.”

Kokoro ignored her. “I saw her when I went to your house, and we listened to your music… and I see her when you have lunch with me, and when you gave me your hat.”

“Kokoro, I…”

“I see Michelle every time we practice, every time we write a new song. Every time you decide not to quit. Every time you’re happy.”

_ Don’t cry in Kokoro’s bed. Bad Misaki. Don’t do that. _

The sheets rustled as Kokoro rolled over. “You don’t need to keep being two people, Misaki. I like you because you’re you. Just be yourself.”

Misaki sniffed a little, because her nose was stuffy and definitely not because she was even a little bit touched. She rubbed at her eyes and smiled. Kokoro was a weird girl, and nothing would ever change that, but at least Misaki could finally see what Kokoro meant; why she treated Michelle and Misaki as two separate entities when she knew they were the same. It was because Misaki kept herself divided in two, all on her own. 

She kept her negatives to herself: All the judgmental opinions, the sarcasm, and a dose of reality. When she was Michelle, though… Michelle joined a band, learned to DJ and got up on stage in front of hundreds of people. Michelle made her outgoing, and made her take risks. Michelle encouraged her friends to do their best despite the odds, and let Misaki do things she was afraid to do.

“You’re really something, you know that?” Misaki whispered to Kokoro.

There was no reply; only soft breathing and the silence surrounding it.

Misaki smiled as she moved to lay back down. How on earth did she get caught up in this mess? What told her “Yeah, the one with the yellow hair, that’s the one”? It had to have been Michelle. 

_ Whatever it was _ , she had to admit as she drifted off to sleep,  _ I’m glad it worked out the way it did. _

By the time morning rolled around, Misaki had made up her mind. Kokoro, still asleep, had traveled across the entire bed and wrapped herself around Misaki’s arm, which had gone numb likely hours ago.

Long, golden hair fanned out across deep crimson sheets was something Misaki hoped she would get to see more of. She really was cute – or actually, more than cute – but Misaki figured she needed to go one step at a time into this new and foreign territory.

Before anything else, she needed to confront Kokoro’s partners in crime.

 

* * *

“And so, Kokoro decided to tell me everything right then and there, so I know about what you’ve all been up to.” Misaki summarized.

Misaki was back at a familiar cafe, only this time she’d invited Kaoru and Hagumi as well as Kanon. All three of them were crammed into the booth across from her.

“I’m sorry!” Kanon squealed. “We should have told you what was going on…”

“No,” Misaki responded, shaking her head, “you were trying to help Kokoro and I was just being stupid about it. But you” – she pointed at Kaoru –“what kind of advice did you give her? The pencil thing? Seriously?”

Kaoru struck a pose, which looked more ridiculous than usual because she was sitting down. 

“A classic tale of star-crossed lovers; who better to give advice than one such as myself? Your admiration of our fair leader was plain as day. I just couldn’t let her think otherwise.”

“Star-crossed?” Kanon whispered. “They aren’t…”

“Surely they were,” Kaoru carried on. “The force against Misaki was herself! Truly they are the Romeo and Juliet of our time.”

“Kaoru,” Misaki laughed nervously, “Romeo and Juliet both die at the end. It’s a tragedy.”

Kaoru waved her off. “Perhaps we didn’t read the same story. What matters is that Kokoro followed through, valiantly stepping forward to win the heart of our cold and isolated kitten...”

Misaki looked at Kanon, who had nothing else to contribute, and then Hagumi, who simply shook her head and shrugged.

“It worked, did it not?” Kaoru smiled.

“What you suggested absolutely did not work. It was dumb and bad.” Misaki said frankly. 

“So you and our fair Kokoro aren’t together?”

Kanon chuckled awkwardly. “I think what she means is that it wasn’t really your advice that helped them work it out…”

“But it did work out, yes?” Kaoru persisted. 

“No! I mean, yes, kind of – that’s what we’re here to talk about, but it was because of Kokoro’s big mouth, not whatever you said.” Misaki reiterated. 

Kaoru gave her a confused look. “But had she not done what I suggested, would you not still be alone for all eternity?”

Hagumi scratched her nose. “She kinda has a point…?”

Misaki gave Kaoru a dirty look. “Did you really have to say it like that? Eternity?”

“Hey, how about we settle down a little, huh?” Kanon pleaded from between Kaoru and Hagumi. “Didn’t Misaki ask us all to come here for a reason?”

“Also,” Misaki went on, “How did you know I’m… you know…” Misaki gestured to herself. “I never told anyone.”

Kaoru smiled and winked at her.

“You’re not allowed to do that.” Misaki snapped. “Explain.”

“I admit I didn’t know. But if it wasn’t meant to be, then we wouldn’t be here right now. As a great poet once said…”

“I’ve heard enough, thanks.” Misaki could feel a migraine coming. Demanding any kind of explanation was a lost cause, and definitely not worth the time and effort it would take to understand what was going on in the oblivious poet’s mind.

“So why are we here anyway?” Hagumi piped up.

Misaki could feel herself blushing, but she ignored it, keeping her serious face steady to match her tone. “If Kokoro and I do this, is it gonna be awkward? Like, with the band?”

The rest of Hello Happy didn’t hesitate before shaking their heads.

“Of course not, Misaki.” Kanon smiled. “We’re all for it.”

“Good. Also, none of you are ever allowed to collaborate with Kokoro ever again.” Misaki pointed at Kaoru specifically. “And if you don’t put a lid on the sappy love quotes before you even begin, I’ll break the hand you use to pose.”

“I see…” Kaoru pulled said hand closer to her person.

“But also,” Misaki continued, “thank you. For telling Kokoro not to give up. I might be a little stubborn.” She finished with a genuine grin.

“So what are you going to do now?” Kanon asked.

“I should probably start by telling her, and then I’ll follow up by writing my will. At this rate I think all this stress might kill me before I turn thirty.”

 

* * *

It was a brilliantly sunny evening when Misaki decided to wait at the gates of the school for Kokoro to come along. In the time since the sleepover, Kokoro had carried on acting like her usual self and had thankfully stopped asking for pencils after Misaki presented her with an entirely new pack. No more awkward requests to do things together. No more inviting herself to wherever Misaki was going.

Kokoro was finally back to normal, or at least the kind of normal Misaki had grown confusingly fond of.

“Waiting for someone?” Arisa asked.

Behind her were Tae and Kasumi, talking amongst themselves.

“Maybe.” Misaki smiled. “Does Kasumi keep secrets or does she just tell everyone immediately?”

“Nobody’s gonna be surprised if we catch you and your crazy girlfriend making out under the couch in the studio.” Arisa gave her a smirk.

Misaki shoved her hand over Arisa’s mouth. “Never say that again.”

Arisa shoved her off. “Alright, alright! But seriously – Kasumi told everyone Kokoro likes you, so don’t let us down, okay?”

Misaki groaned. “Really? Everyone? I don’t even know if I’m a hundred percent in on this yet. I’m just…”

“Making it up as you go?” Arisa offered. “Don’t worry, Kasumi lives her entire life like that and it’s worked out so far.”

“Thanks, you’ve really lifted my spirits.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Misaki rolled her eyes as Arisa winked and headed for the crosswalk. Tae and Kasumi followed her, still lost in their own discussion.

“Oh,” Tae called back. “Good luck, Misaki! Don’t be a big baby and chicken out like Arisa does every time!”

Misaki laughed as Arisa turned and walked backwards across the crosswalk so she could verbally fight with Tae about  _ definitely not _ being a big baby.

Minutes later, Kokoro came skipping out of the school with Hagumi hot on her heels. The moment they walked out of the gate, Hagumi spotted Misaki, gave her a thumbs up, and dashed away in the opposite direction.

“Well, that wasn’t obvious at all.” Misaki muttered. 

“What wasn’t?” Kokoro asked. “Sometimes she just runs off like that.”

Misaki nodded. “Uh-huh… Hey, do you wanna walk home with me today?”

“Always!” Kokoro pumped her fist. “You never ask me to — this is so exciting!”

Misaki just turned around and began walking, trying to make space between the two of them and any prying eyes as quickly as possible. Oddly enough, Kokoro seemed perfectly content to skip along beside her, quietly humming to herself.

“So…” Misaki said after a while, “any new ideas for the song?”

_ I’m terrible. Why would I say that? Who even cares about the song anymore?! _

“Yep!” Kokoro turned around to face Misaki and skipped down the sidewalk backwards. “The best idea I’ve ever had, I think!”

“Oh really?” Misaki asked, genuinely curious now. 

They turned a corner and Misaki had to reach out and spin Kokoro around to stop her from hopping backwards right off the curb.

“You should sing with me! And Hagumi I guess, since I promised she could sing in the next one ages ago.”

“W-what?” Misaki spluttered. “Me? Sing? I can’t sing.”

“Of course you can, anyone can sing.” Kokoro stated matter-of-factly.

“I can’t.” Misaki insisted. “That isn’t a good idea. I’m sure you and Hagumi will be fine on your own.”

“No, you should do it. I think you’d be great at it.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to ask Michelle?” Misaki wished right away that she could take that back, remembering that Kokoro actually did know they were one and the same. It was still a natural reflex to keep the two personalities apart.

Kokoro stopped skipping and fell into step beside Misaki, looping their arms together. “If I wanted to ask Michelle, I would have asked Michelle. But I’m asking Misaki. Just Misaki.”

She still wanted to say no, and yet… she didn’t want to be two people anymore. She wanted Kokoro to see who she was: As Misaki, and not as anyone or anything else. What better time to start than now?

“Okay. I’ll do it.” Misaki squeezed Kokoro’s arm. “But only because you asked me to.”

“Yessss!” Kokoro shouted, half dancing as they walked up to the gate of the Tsurumaki residence. “This is gonna be the happiest song we’ve ever made! I have a lot of ideas now, so we should meet up and write it this week. I was thinking we could make it about dreams, and also Hagumi wants something about sandwiches–”

“Kokoro.” Misaki tugged on her arm. “You’re home.”

“Oh! I guess I am.” 

She let go of Misaki’s arm and stepped back. 

“I’ll see you in class tomorrow?” Kokoro looked at her expectantly.

Misaki breathed in and pulled at her sleeves. “Yeah… hey, Kokoro?”

“Hm?”

“We should do something. Like, together, just me and you. At a time, in a place.”

_ Incredible. Home run, Misaki. _ She mentally cringed at her own words.

For a brief moment, Kokoro didn’t react at all. Then, slowly, a huge, glowing grin spread out across her face and her eyes lit up like Misaki had never seen before. 

“Like a date?” She offered eagerly.

“Y-yeah. Like one of those.” Misaki looked nervously to the side.

“Yeah yeah yeah!” Kokoro shouted, pumping her fists in the air.

“Hey, don’t shout–”

Misaki was cut off as Kokoro leapt forward, flinging her arms around Misaki’s neck and kissing her full on the lips. 

Misaki stumbled back a little in surprise with wide eyes, and her arms fell to her sides as she let Kokoro do her thing. It wasn’t an unwelcome feeling, like she’d thought it might be. It wasn’t awkward, and she didn’t find herself wanting to pull away. It was, perhaps, even good. Yeah… it was pretty good.

Kokoro finally stepped back, grinning from ear to ear.

“Bweh?” Misaki wheezed, intelligently.

“I know this cool restaurant my parents always go to. I’ll text you about it later, okay?” Kokoro waved at her, then turned to buzz herself in through the gate.

“Wait, Kokoro.” Misaki managed, finally finding her words. “You can’t just do that. You don’t do that until after the date! You can’t… it’s not…”

“Bye, Misaki!” Kokoro ignored her, once again skipping as she made her way down the path towards her front door.

Misaki was left standing there, still wondering what had just transpired. As she looked up at the ornate iron gates, and through them to the far away front doors of the expansive mansion, she wondered what exactly she’d just signed up for.

Well, she knew it was Kokoro, but what really came with that package?

“Coffee?”

“Huh?” Misaki turned around only to spot one of Kokoro’s neatly dressed black suit people. In her hand was a paper cup with Misaki’s normal order scrawled on the side.

The attendant wordlessly handed her the cup and disappeared through the gates, giving her only the tiniest nod of acknowledgment.

“I think this is gonna work out just fine.” Misaki mumbled to herself, taking a sip.

Her phone vibrated and she pulled it out of her pocket. Kokoro was already texting her just to tell Misaki she missed her.

“Maybe even more than fine.”

Misaki smiled, and began typing her reply.


End file.
